How To Date Online: Writing Original Personal Messages

     So in the last post I had mentioned advice in writing an original message to someone who has passed all of your filtrate systems. Congratulations!
    Now, it seems, the pressure is on to write a meaningful message that won't only capture the eye but will also come off as original, witty, and most of all addresses their favorite thing to talk about; themselves.

For the sake of this, I will go onto POF and search for an actual person to show you exactly how this works.

So right off the bat I went on, searched as if I were a man looking for a woman between the ages of 18-24. Wasn't too specific in my search requirements just simple things like "wants to date but nothing serious"- so I could find someone to use as an example. I chose a girl my age, 19, she chose sunfish for her personality and writes a small about me paragraph. I will include it below to show you how this goes.

About Me

My name is BROOKE
I am a very kind, fun loving person, who would do anything for anybody.
I don't do drugs, never did and I don't hang out with people who do.
My family and friends mean the world to me.
I love to go out and have a good time, but staying home and cuddling is also nice.
I am such a funny girl, even when someone is in a bad mood, I can still make them laugh.
I can be an a$$hole at times.
Once someone disrespects me your a$$ is cut.
I don't play children games.
Drama free is the way to be haha.

*Don't message me disrespectful sh!t because I will not message you back.

*If you are old enough to be my dad, don't waste your time to message me.

First Date

Someone who will not expect the "happy" ending

     First thing to take notice of, she uses her real name. This is an option, for me I made finding out my name a riddle. I thought it to be a nice conversation piece. Some may ask how, and it's actually quite simple. Everyone's name has a meaning. For instance mine was "where the willows grow; sheltered"-- anyone with Google could have figured it out, but you'd be surprised how few people tried!
     I digress. Anyways, she mentions that she's kind, enjoys life and is loyal. Good traits, but who doesn't like to have a good time? She reinforces that she's a "good girl" by stating that she doesn't do drugs and doesn't hang around people who've made poor life decisions. She likes going out but doesn't mind one on one time either. So she isn't a stage five clinger, has some independence and won't rely on you all the time for emotional support. She claims to have a good sense of humor but can be mean sometimes. She openly admits to being human by saying she can be mean. So at least she's honest. She wants an honest relationship with respect and understanding. Sounds pretty reasonable.
   Now that we dissected her profile a little but, now's the time to make conversation.Notice how she talked about herself. She didn't say much about who she wants as a partner and this is critical information.

She claims to she's humorous, so start off with a header like, "Cheese, Milk's Attempt at Immortality"
funny, witty, thought provoking, could even elicit a smile, but it's an eye catcher. Beats the hell out of saying "hey"
Start off with an introduction.
     Hi Brooke (if she includes her name be sure to use it- it's respectful and show's you read her profile and aren't messaging her simply because of her looks)
State how you came across her profile- why you looked at it. For this, it's okay to make a brief mention of how her picture piqued your interests.
     I was looking around and saw your photo. What caught me at first was how the light reflected off your hair and the life in your eyes when you smile.
Now mention the little things you saw in her profile. Don't make this about you though.
In her profile she mentions being a professional dancer, ask her to elaborate.
     I saw that you are a dancer, what made you decide to pursue dancing?
She mentions having taken some college
     What courses have you taken in college thus far?
     Are you in a specific school program, certificate/ degree?
Don't sound condescending, and don't make it about sex. She was adamant about wanting an emotional bond more than a physical one first.
Being on pof, the person is looking for a partner they aren't finding in real life. Now's your time to ask her about that.
     Since you're on pof you must be looking for someone specific. Without censors (make sure she can let her guard down, again this isn't about you fitting into her ideal man- it's about learning about her) tell me what kind of partner you are looking for physically as well as psychologically.

Ask where she sees herself in the future (5-10 years from now)
Ask about what her hobbies are, her favorite tv shows, favorite color, etc.
These questions seem childish but in reality you're trying to learn about this person as much as possible and a lot of times their favorite things say a lot about who they are as a person as well as what they prefer.

Hopeless Romantic: Single Search

     While I am not single anymore, there was a time when I was. I was consumed by school and had other reasons as to why I couldn't go out as well.  I was sitting in College Algebra and had made friends with the kid next to me. He clung on to our friendship and spilled his life story to me (most people do this, I may have a sign that hangs somewhere dangerously close to me indicting that I desire to hear about this right off the bat, but I shall spare you the dread) Just take away from this that I was introduced to online dating via this person. While at the age of 16, I had thought nothing of it, towards the age of 17-18 I desired to have a relationship with a burning passion. All over the place I would see couples and swooned at the idea of being so close to another person.
     I had remembered the website he had told me about and created many profiles over the course of my year and a half search it took for me to find the one. While I don't necessarily approve of this website I will make sure I explain why later.
     My search was anything but organized. I wasn't sure if people were actually taking the time to read about me. I had put forth effort into writing a meaningful section on the "About Me" and I had a strange  method of figuring out who to talk to, who to go out on a date with, etc. Often times I would get so frustrated that I kept deleting my profile to force myself to come up with a different about me that would catch someone's attention. But there is a trick I used in searching for people, since online, you have a lot of people to filter through and just not enough time in the day. I realized this method while trying to help one of my friends find a girlfriend. I would simply go through the tabs on the top part of the page, scroll through the pages, right click on the people who's picture met my criteria, and before flipping to the next I would scan their profile quickly. If it met what I was looking for I quickly came up with a witty and charming message. None of which were mass produced. And YES I have had people do this to me.
     This is a matter of probability and persistence. It's A LOT like a job search and only you know who the one person can be to fill the position. It's discouraging and frustrating, but trust me; it's well worth it in the end.