The Addiction of Love

     Every now and again I see something that relates the need for love to that of our most basic drives. In Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs theory, it'd be located on the bottom of the pyramid an it includes; sex, food, air, shelter, water. The basic needs.
     Now, looking back on my quest for love it was very time consuming. The idea ate away at me, and even though I was in college, I was finding being alone to prove quite formidable. At school, at work, when I was to be studying.. the distraction was there. Like a pesky itch in the part of your back you can't reach I was determined to get it. That's how you end up dedicating a year and a half of your life to it without realizing how much time has passed.
     I try to make my job hunt a similar situation. Like searching for love beat me down, so too does the search for a job. I try to motivate myself and strangely enough. lately, in order to do anything I have to get off.
     You could say that being alone during the day and the monotony of a job search switches on the part of the brain that craves the sweet release of those frisky little "feel good" hormones. Scientists have said that sex and orgasm activate the same part of the brain that is associated with drug addiction. It makes us feel good, and so like a crack whore, we keep chasing that high.
     I will say that in my adolescence I was a late bloomer. The self exploration of myself as well as the connection process with my body was at a much later age for me than most. That, however, is what I see masturbation to be. The connection with yourself. I love myself. I know that if I couldn't get off then I'd have some real concerns in regards to how I saw myself, not only physically, but psychologically as well. Being a late bloomer I have only shared in the love making act with my fiance. I was what you'd call old fashioned. I am very glad that I decided to wait, but I am sure that I may not have been so sexual had I not known who I was.
     All this talk about love and sex will bring me to another topic as well. The one about abstinence and the government in it's funding. Not too long ago a woman named Liza Long wrote a blog about her mentally ill son Michael. She instantly got news coverage on her out cry for better mental health treatment for the psychologically ill. Like her out cry, I will make a similar case, but not one so rash as to offend most people by assimilating my opinions with a tragic event. Documentaries cover this issue as well. Most schools won't teach safe sex in order to get Health education funding. There is a requirement that in order to get government assistance you much scare the absolute shit out of children. tell them it's wrong and then at the end have them sign a pledge vowing abstinence forever more. In an idealistic world this would work. But instead we have a mass of people who believe "Our kids aren't having sex." Then turn the other cheek and life goes on. Want to know something? They are having sex. Unfortunately now, it's in our parks where I took my little, now 4 year old sister, to. This teen couple was doing it under a pavilion on a bench. There's condemnation for pornography, sexting, teen nudity, and sex before marriage, but with the avocation of abstinence comes a higher percentage of teen pregnancies. Did you know that I didn't know what a condom looked like until I was about 18? I didn't know how to properly use a tampon, or where one even went until, again, I was almost 18? All the research on sex I did on my own accord. It's only because I was sensible enough to worry about my safety that I looked into it at all. With all my preparation I still ended up getting a UTI within a few days after, evidently spermicide lubricated condoms have this effect. I wasn't told you have to urinate after having sex either. But at least I had common sense to use protection.
     Imagine the countless number of children who are having sex without protection, but now we glorify this on shows like 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom.
     Television is the glorification of risks without repercussions, but in real life, there are consequences to our actions; good and bad.

Hopeless Romantic: Single Search

     While I am not single anymore, there was a time when I was. I was consumed by school and had other reasons as to why I couldn't go out as well.  I was sitting in College Algebra and had made friends with the kid next to me. He clung on to our friendship and spilled his life story to me (most people do this, I may have a sign that hangs somewhere dangerously close to me indicting that I desire to hear about this right off the bat, but I shall spare you the dread) Just take away from this that I was introduced to online dating via this person. While at the age of 16, I had thought nothing of it, towards the age of 17-18 I desired to have a relationship with a burning passion. All over the place I would see couples and swooned at the idea of being so close to another person.
     I had remembered the website he had told me about and created many profiles over the course of my year and a half search it took for me to find the one. While I don't necessarily approve of this website I will make sure I explain why later.
     My search was anything but organized. I wasn't sure if people were actually taking the time to read about me. I had put forth effort into writing a meaningful section on the "About Me" and I had a strange  method of figuring out who to talk to, who to go out on a date with, etc. Often times I would get so frustrated that I kept deleting my profile to force myself to come up with a different about me that would catch someone's attention. But there is a trick I used in searching for people, since online, you have a lot of people to filter through and just not enough time in the day. I realized this method while trying to help one of my friends find a girlfriend. I would simply go through the tabs on the top part of the page, scroll through the pages, right click on the people who's picture met my criteria, and before flipping to the next I would scan their profile quickly. If it met what I was looking for I quickly came up with a witty and charming message. None of which were mass produced. And YES I have had people do this to me.
     This is a matter of probability and persistence. It's A LOT like a job search and only you know who the one person can be to fill the position. It's discouraging and frustrating, but trust me; it's well worth it in the end.