The Addiction of Love

     Every now and again I see something that relates the need for love to that of our most basic drives. In Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs theory, it'd be located on the bottom of the pyramid an it includes; sex, food, air, shelter, water. The basic needs.
     Now, looking back on my quest for love it was very time consuming. The idea ate away at me, and even though I was in college, I was finding being alone to prove quite formidable. At school, at work, when I was to be studying.. the distraction was there. Like a pesky itch in the part of your back you can't reach I was determined to get it. That's how you end up dedicating a year and a half of your life to it without realizing how much time has passed.
     I try to make my job hunt a similar situation. Like searching for love beat me down, so too does the search for a job. I try to motivate myself and strangely enough. lately, in order to do anything I have to get off.
     You could say that being alone during the day and the monotony of a job search switches on the part of the brain that craves the sweet release of those frisky little "feel good" hormones. Scientists have said that sex and orgasm activate the same part of the brain that is associated with drug addiction. It makes us feel good, and so like a crack whore, we keep chasing that high.
     I will say that in my adolescence I was a late bloomer. The self exploration of myself as well as the connection process with my body was at a much later age for me than most. That, however, is what I see masturbation to be. The connection with yourself. I love myself. I know that if I couldn't get off then I'd have some real concerns in regards to how I saw myself, not only physically, but psychologically as well. Being a late bloomer I have only shared in the love making act with my fiance. I was what you'd call old fashioned. I am very glad that I decided to wait, but I am sure that I may not have been so sexual had I not known who I was.
     All this talk about love and sex will bring me to another topic as well. The one about abstinence and the government in it's funding. Not too long ago a woman named Liza Long wrote a blog about her mentally ill son Michael. She instantly got news coverage on her out cry for better mental health treatment for the psychologically ill. Like her out cry, I will make a similar case, but not one so rash as to offend most people by assimilating my opinions with a tragic event. Documentaries cover this issue as well. Most schools won't teach safe sex in order to get Health education funding. There is a requirement that in order to get government assistance you much scare the absolute shit out of children. tell them it's wrong and then at the end have them sign a pledge vowing abstinence forever more. In an idealistic world this would work. But instead we have a mass of people who believe "Our kids aren't having sex." Then turn the other cheek and life goes on. Want to know something? They are having sex. Unfortunately now, it's in our parks where I took my little, now 4 year old sister, to. This teen couple was doing it under a pavilion on a bench. There's condemnation for pornography, sexting, teen nudity, and sex before marriage, but with the avocation of abstinence comes a higher percentage of teen pregnancies. Did you know that I didn't know what a condom looked like until I was about 18? I didn't know how to properly use a tampon, or where one even went until, again, I was almost 18? All the research on sex I did on my own accord. It's only because I was sensible enough to worry about my safety that I looked into it at all. With all my preparation I still ended up getting a UTI within a few days after, evidently spermicide lubricated condoms have this effect. I wasn't told you have to urinate after having sex either. But at least I had common sense to use protection.
     Imagine the countless number of children who are having sex without protection, but now we glorify this on shows like 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom.
     Television is the glorification of risks without repercussions, but in real life, there are consequences to our actions; good and bad.

I May Be A Dreamer, But I'm Not The Only One

     I took notice of this a while back. Back when I was in college. This ties in a lot with my dad's advice about how people usually only talk to you out of the blue when they need something from you. Good advice dad. I've had numerous discussions about this with people as well, so this discussion may get a little deeper than usual.
     Remember being in school and the teacher yelling at you because you were passing notes? Then as the cliche' goes, the teacher reads the note out loud to the class and after they were done you'd get a stare and then told to knock it off, or be sent to the principal's office; depending on how often you got in trouble. The other day I was reminiscing about passing notes, strangely enough, how I used to fold those notes. Which almost led me to calling up my sister to ask her, but distraction got the best of me.
     It wasn't until last night that I realized my usual rants about the flaws of society were a good topic to touch on in regards to relationships. It's not notes children in school are writing anymore, it's texting and using social media, but it isn't just children either. College adults do the same thing. To test this idea out I conducted little social experiments of my own. I made an effort to smile to more people I passed, even if I had headphones in. I would hold doors open for people behind me, smile at them, or when leaving a strangers company I would be sure to tell them to have a good day. The results of this were odd to say the least. In elevators, walking by people or just holding the door open, these people would take notice of me at least, but what they failed to do was to meet my smile with any friendly response. It usually consisted of snarks of disgust, the chin scrunch of embarrassment looking at their phone, fiddling with their clothes; anything to avert eye contact. Of course I was guilty of this at one point to.
     Here you are, in contact with another human being, and for the briefest moment your paths cross there is really no conversation to exchange. You feel that if it were fate, they would start up a conversation with you at the most. But what isn't understood is that communication is a two way street. Real life isn't meant to be like the movies, that's why we go and watch something that's scripted; simply because it's fantasy. It was why people went to movies in the old days and why they go to the movies now; to escape reality for the briefest of moments. Or perhaps movies provide a similar effect of Shakespeare's comic relief. Life is a drama.