Every now and again I see something that relates the need for love to that of our most basic drives. In Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs theory, it'd be located on the bottom of the pyramid an it includes; sex, food, air, shelter, water. The basic needs.
Now, looking back on my quest for love it was very time consuming. The idea ate away at me, and even though I was in college, I was finding being alone to prove quite formidable. At school, at work, when I was to be studying.. the distraction was there. Like a pesky itch in the part of your back you can't reach I was determined to get it. That's how you end up dedicating a year and a half of your life to it without realizing how much time has passed.
I try to make my job hunt a similar situation. Like searching for love beat me down, so too does the search for a job. I try to motivate myself and strangely enough. lately, in order to do anything I have to get off.
You could say that being alone during the day and the monotony of a job search switches on the part of the brain that craves the sweet release of those frisky little "feel good" hormones. Scientists have said that sex and orgasm activate the same part of the brain that is associated with drug addiction. It makes us feel good, and so like a crack whore, we keep chasing that high.
I will say that in my adolescence I was a late bloomer. The self exploration of myself as well as the connection process with my body was at a much later age for me than most. That, however, is what I see masturbation to be. The connection with yourself. I love myself. I know that if I couldn't get off then I'd have some real concerns in regards to how I saw myself, not only physically, but psychologically as well. Being a late bloomer I have only shared in the love making act with my fiance. I was what you'd call old fashioned. I am very glad that I decided to wait, but I am sure that I may not have been so sexual had I not known who I was.
All this talk about love and sex will bring me to another topic as well. The one about abstinence and the government in it's funding. Not too long ago a woman named Liza Long wrote a blog about her mentally ill son Michael. She instantly got news coverage on her out cry for better mental health treatment for the psychologically ill. Like her out cry, I will make a similar case, but not one so rash as to offend most people by assimilating my opinions with a tragic event. Documentaries cover this issue as well. Most schools won't teach safe sex in order to get Health education funding. There is a requirement that in order to get government assistance you much scare the absolute shit out of children. tell them it's wrong and then at the end have them sign a pledge vowing abstinence forever more. In an idealistic world this would work. But instead we have a mass of people who believe "Our kids aren't having sex." Then turn the other cheek and life goes on. Want to know something? They are having sex. Unfortunately now, it's in our parks where I took my little, now 4 year old sister, to. This teen couple was doing it under a pavilion on a bench. There's condemnation for pornography, sexting, teen nudity, and sex before marriage, but with the avocation of abstinence comes a higher percentage of teen pregnancies. Did you know that I didn't know what a condom looked like until I was about 18? I didn't know how to properly use a tampon, or where one even went until, again, I was almost 18? All the research on sex I did on my own accord. It's only because I was sensible enough to worry about my safety that I looked into it at all. With all my preparation I still ended up getting a UTI within a few days after, evidently spermicide lubricated condoms have this effect. I wasn't told you have to urinate after having sex either. But at least I had common sense to use protection.
Imagine the countless number of children who are having sex without protection, but now we glorify this on shows like 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom.
Television is the glorification of risks without repercussions, but in real life, there are consequences to our actions; good and bad.
Showing posts with label relateable. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relateable. Show all posts
Thursday, December 20, 2012
All Great Empires Fall
We connect to larger masses through media, but what would we be without the instant access to information? Has the power ever gone out and you lost the internet for a few hours? It evokes a small stroke of fear. Our whole lives are on the internet, powered by this mighty machine- but what would we do without it? We have out whole lives on the internet. From banking to digitally documenting our lives for future generations.
Now there was actually some things quite similar in history I will highlight to make my point. There once was a Chinese emperor who unified China in early 200BC. After building the Great Wall at the expense of many lives Qin Shi Huang had to ensure the stability of his empire. Doing so resulted in the order of not only outlawing paper documents, but also the burning of books and burying of live scholars. Essentially this burning was to create a power over illiterates. They had to rely on him for information, but if you look into it now you'll realize he destroyed a lot of documented history during that time period.
My theory about the internet disappearing, satirically addressed in the South Park episode "Over Logging", has a lot to do with the loss of information about our time as well as the riddling effects on those people who are afflicted by internet addiction.
Now there was actually some things quite similar in history I will highlight to make my point. There once was a Chinese emperor who unified China in early 200BC. After building the Great Wall at the expense of many lives Qin Shi Huang had to ensure the stability of his empire. Doing so resulted in the order of not only outlawing paper documents, but also the burning of books and burying of live scholars. Essentially this burning was to create a power over illiterates. They had to rely on him for information, but if you look into it now you'll realize he destroyed a lot of documented history during that time period.
My theory about the internet disappearing, satirically addressed in the South Park episode "Over Logging", has a lot to do with the loss of information about our time as well as the riddling effects on those people who are afflicted by internet addiction.
Monday, December 17, 2012
The Strange and Disastrous Dates: To Keep You Motivted
In my previous blog post I mentioned dating many people from online for over a year and a half before I met the one. As lame as it sounds, I look back to that moment every day and couldn't see myself without him. But don't think that it was perfectly laid out for me or even handed to me. A year and a half is a long time! But I will share my disastrous dates in order for you to realize that it was a journey!
I had my first kiss at the age of 17. While most have had their first kiss in middle school, I'll have to admit I was something of a late bloomer. My first kiss was with the 24 year old who set up texting on my phone (again, I didn't get this until I was 17, my parents were..."strict") The word that caught his attention was my usage of "ostentatious." Now you have to remember I was in college at 16. I loved English, and enjoyed reading. Words weren't a stranger to me, but this is what supposedly did him in. I grew abnormally attached to him as the months went on. He led me on, treated me like garbage.. we'll label him the douche. Although, truth be told, he didn't earn the right to be anywhere near a vagina. Simply put, he was a representation of the storm ahead.
Now after my realization that I deserved better I created a profile on this website, plentyoffish.com. Within minutes I was getting messages. They weren't anything special. Only later did I find out that it was mainly a website of a few people. Horn Dogs/ Douches and those who had low self esteem, a type the website calls Bottom Feeders. They try to upkeep the fish theme a little too much...
This bumble of a guy was shy and at the time I was willing to talk to everyone. My standards were low since I had seen a comedy sketch where a man says something along the lines that if we women lowered our standards some we would have a whole new availability of men. So I tested it out. I put looks aside and it came to bite me in the ass. Here, even to this day, is my WORST date ever and I am going to tell you that no, I'm not over exaggerating.
We had been talking for a while now (online, texting and on the phone) but this was our first date. That was my rule. I found if he couldn't keep a conversation with me for more than a day, he wasn't worth my time. It was like a prelude to a relationship. It was a great way to filter people who weren't serious out. So the worst date ever. He picks me up and while he didn't own a nice car, it wasn't that big of a deal to me. He had a job and a car. More than most of them on that website. I digress. We go out to Red Robin, back when they had more than just burgers. We were waiting in line and I go to hold his hand. What does he do? He turns sideways and looks at the ceiling while still holding my hand. You might say, "what a strange thing to do!" want to know why? He divulged later that it was because he had a boner...
Let's fast forward to dinner. He didn't say anything to me. I was asking questions, trying to seem interested-- I ordered the messiest thing on the menu in order for him to loosen up some. Then finally he started talking and just when I thought he opened up, he goes shy because evidently, his voice cracked. At 21 I expect you not to act like a 14 year old girl. You may think this is harsh, but I haven't finished yet. He clammed up the rest of the night. We went to a movie after, now I had been waiting for months to see this movie, I was so stoked, here I'm thinking it would be a great film. Blood, gore, action, The Town with Ben Afleck. Don't ask me what it was about now, I probably couldn't remember. So we're sitting in the theater and out of the corner of my eye I see his knee bouncing up and down and he's tapping his fingers on his leg. I ignored it. While people are dying he wants to hold my hand...
Finally the movie was over and we walk to the car. I get in and he puts the key in the ignition, leans forward and is just sitting there. I'm shaking from being so cold and asked him what we were doing just sitting there. He insisted on going out for ice cream... So we went to Cold Stone and got little things of ice cream. My friends were asking me how it was going and I was ready for it to end. The tables at Cold Stone are not that big. We were sitting pretty close and all the sudden my phone vibrates. It's him. He is sitting right across from me and is texting me. He got cocky, but wouldn't say anything to my face.
At last I was home. He hugged me and when he tried going for more than a hug I darted into the house. Moments later he is texting me pictures of flowers and asked me "Did you get my flowers?" I said "What flowers?" He was talking about the pictures... Unfortunately my mom convinced me to give him another try. And after him almost killing me by turning left on a red light onto oncoming traffic, that other try landed me a stalker for the next year or so. I couldn't get on POF without him or his alcoholic brother messaging me.
After that, in the spring I was in my Comparative Religion class and had a neck spasm. I was paralyzed, crying, and had to have my friend (who was also friends with my cousin) drive me to the hospital where my mom works. We found out later it's called Torticollis, for those who like looking things up like me. Needless to say, I owed him one. So when he asked me out I said yes. He didn't have a car, nor a job- but I went out with him anyways. He was late (which angered my dad severely- it's disrespectful, oh and all my dates had to meet my parents before I was allowed out not to mention I had to tell my parents my whereabouts and be home at a certain time...like I aforementioned, they were strict.) We were in some classes at school together so we had a good amount of things to talk about. The only thing was, he was never sure when to kiss and asked me what he should do when he brought me home. He asked me if he should go home and since I liked a guy who knows what he wants, I sent him on his way with nothing more than a hug.
*Guys, many girls tell where the relationship is going to go or even if she is attracted to you simply from a kiss. Your saliva is filled with pheromones and testosterone that the female body subconsciously picks up on. you'd be wise to have kiss on the 1st date.*
One of my friends at the time, had a boyfriend who she met on POF. He had a friend who was also on that website, so we went on two double dates over that summer. On the first double/ blind date, he was texting his ex girlfriend the whole night. He hardly talked to me, but liked messing around. He had a fake I.D. and was actually 19. A self proclaimed Red Neck, he told me he had to go back to Virginia and didn't want to lead me on. While it was appreciated, I still got upset because who likes being told they don't want to be around you anymore?
Then I went out with another guy from POF. He was actually friends with the hoodlum who lived next door to me after the older woman sold the house. He was in a band, had tattoos and piercings, managed to talk to me for more than a day and we went to a movie, dinner and took our dinner to the park. In the movie, he tried doing me. AKA having sex. I may have mentioned this before, but I was a late bloomer. I was a virgin at this time. I had told him this and he seemed surprised. He tasted of marijuana, want to know why? He claimed he smoked three days ago, he lived in a house where the tenants smoked and he was a drug dealer!
The next guy is when I started looking for more of a "man in uniform." I found a guy who was not only in the air force, but was also training to become a cop. He was born on Valentine's Day 2 years before me and was always thought provoking and intelligent. We went out to dinner then the park and even though it was raining we had a nice time. At the end of the night he promised we would have a second date. He stood me up that night.
The next one was okay. He was tall, had a car and a job, intelligent, but less than average in the looks department. He got taken to jail after our date because he was caught drinking 3 days before he turned 21. He was possessive and temperamental. He had me pay for most of our dates. He turned out to be a coke dealer at one point in his life, and after everything, I had to tell him I wasn't attracted to him. He didn't take it lightly, stalked me for a little while before letting it go...
Finally, I met the one. He sent me a message with two lines. "You're very pretty" "your dad looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger. I bet he could kick my ass." We talked for a few days, and after not hearing from him for a week, I contacted him again. We started talking about very intimate information. I was learning things even his closest friends never knew. Every day is a special one. I live with him now and he plans on marrying me someday soon. A co-worker of his, met his wife on POF. He was tired of the party girls and found me. :)
I had my first kiss at the age of 17. While most have had their first kiss in middle school, I'll have to admit I was something of a late bloomer. My first kiss was with the 24 year old who set up texting on my phone (again, I didn't get this until I was 17, my parents were..."strict") The word that caught his attention was my usage of "ostentatious." Now you have to remember I was in college at 16. I loved English, and enjoyed reading. Words weren't a stranger to me, but this is what supposedly did him in. I grew abnormally attached to him as the months went on. He led me on, treated me like garbage.. we'll label him the douche. Although, truth be told, he didn't earn the right to be anywhere near a vagina. Simply put, he was a representation of the storm ahead.
Now after my realization that I deserved better I created a profile on this website, plentyoffish.com. Within minutes I was getting messages. They weren't anything special. Only later did I find out that it was mainly a website of a few people. Horn Dogs/ Douches and those who had low self esteem, a type the website calls Bottom Feeders. They try to upkeep the fish theme a little too much...
This bumble of a guy was shy and at the time I was willing to talk to everyone. My standards were low since I had seen a comedy sketch where a man says something along the lines that if we women lowered our standards some we would have a whole new availability of men. So I tested it out. I put looks aside and it came to bite me in the ass. Here, even to this day, is my WORST date ever and I am going to tell you that no, I'm not over exaggerating.
We had been talking for a while now (online, texting and on the phone) but this was our first date. That was my rule. I found if he couldn't keep a conversation with me for more than a day, he wasn't worth my time. It was like a prelude to a relationship. It was a great way to filter people who weren't serious out. So the worst date ever. He picks me up and while he didn't own a nice car, it wasn't that big of a deal to me. He had a job and a car. More than most of them on that website. I digress. We go out to Red Robin, back when they had more than just burgers. We were waiting in line and I go to hold his hand. What does he do? He turns sideways and looks at the ceiling while still holding my hand. You might say, "what a strange thing to do!" want to know why? He divulged later that it was because he had a boner...
Let's fast forward to dinner. He didn't say anything to me. I was asking questions, trying to seem interested-- I ordered the messiest thing on the menu in order for him to loosen up some. Then finally he started talking and just when I thought he opened up, he goes shy because evidently, his voice cracked. At 21 I expect you not to act like a 14 year old girl. You may think this is harsh, but I haven't finished yet. He clammed up the rest of the night. We went to a movie after, now I had been waiting for months to see this movie, I was so stoked, here I'm thinking it would be a great film. Blood, gore, action, The Town with Ben Afleck. Don't ask me what it was about now, I probably couldn't remember. So we're sitting in the theater and out of the corner of my eye I see his knee bouncing up and down and he's tapping his fingers on his leg. I ignored it. While people are dying he wants to hold my hand...
Finally the movie was over and we walk to the car. I get in and he puts the key in the ignition, leans forward and is just sitting there. I'm shaking from being so cold and asked him what we were doing just sitting there. He insisted on going out for ice cream... So we went to Cold Stone and got little things of ice cream. My friends were asking me how it was going and I was ready for it to end. The tables at Cold Stone are not that big. We were sitting pretty close and all the sudden my phone vibrates. It's him. He is sitting right across from me and is texting me. He got cocky, but wouldn't say anything to my face.
At last I was home. He hugged me and when he tried going for more than a hug I darted into the house. Moments later he is texting me pictures of flowers and asked me "Did you get my flowers?" I said "What flowers?" He was talking about the pictures... Unfortunately my mom convinced me to give him another try. And after him almost killing me by turning left on a red light onto oncoming traffic, that other try landed me a stalker for the next year or so. I couldn't get on POF without him or his alcoholic brother messaging me.
After that, in the spring I was in my Comparative Religion class and had a neck spasm. I was paralyzed, crying, and had to have my friend (who was also friends with my cousin) drive me to the hospital where my mom works. We found out later it's called Torticollis, for those who like looking things up like me. Needless to say, I owed him one. So when he asked me out I said yes. He didn't have a car, nor a job- but I went out with him anyways. He was late (which angered my dad severely- it's disrespectful, oh and all my dates had to meet my parents before I was allowed out not to mention I had to tell my parents my whereabouts and be home at a certain time...like I aforementioned, they were strict.) We were in some classes at school together so we had a good amount of things to talk about. The only thing was, he was never sure when to kiss and asked me what he should do when he brought me home. He asked me if he should go home and since I liked a guy who knows what he wants, I sent him on his way with nothing more than a hug.
*Guys, many girls tell where the relationship is going to go or even if she is attracted to you simply from a kiss. Your saliva is filled with pheromones and testosterone that the female body subconsciously picks up on. you'd be wise to have kiss on the 1st date.*
One of my friends at the time, had a boyfriend who she met on POF. He had a friend who was also on that website, so we went on two double dates over that summer. On the first double/ blind date, he was texting his ex girlfriend the whole night. He hardly talked to me, but liked messing around. He had a fake I.D. and was actually 19. A self proclaimed Red Neck, he told me he had to go back to Virginia and didn't want to lead me on. While it was appreciated, I still got upset because who likes being told they don't want to be around you anymore?
Then I went out with another guy from POF. He was actually friends with the hoodlum who lived next door to me after the older woman sold the house. He was in a band, had tattoos and piercings, managed to talk to me for more than a day and we went to a movie, dinner and took our dinner to the park. In the movie, he tried doing me. AKA having sex. I may have mentioned this before, but I was a late bloomer. I was a virgin at this time. I had told him this and he seemed surprised. He tasted of marijuana, want to know why? He claimed he smoked three days ago, he lived in a house where the tenants smoked and he was a drug dealer!
The next guy is when I started looking for more of a "man in uniform." I found a guy who was not only in the air force, but was also training to become a cop. He was born on Valentine's Day 2 years before me and was always thought provoking and intelligent. We went out to dinner then the park and even though it was raining we had a nice time. At the end of the night he promised we would have a second date. He stood me up that night.
The next one was okay. He was tall, had a car and a job, intelligent, but less than average in the looks department. He got taken to jail after our date because he was caught drinking 3 days before he turned 21. He was possessive and temperamental. He had me pay for most of our dates. He turned out to be a coke dealer at one point in his life, and after everything, I had to tell him I wasn't attracted to him. He didn't take it lightly, stalked me for a little while before letting it go...
Finally, I met the one. He sent me a message with two lines. "You're very pretty" "your dad looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger. I bet he could kick my ass." We talked for a few days, and after not hearing from him for a week, I contacted him again. We started talking about very intimate information. I was learning things even his closest friends never knew. Every day is a special one. I live with him now and he plans on marrying me someday soon. A co-worker of his, met his wife on POF. He was tired of the party girls and found me. :)
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