The Addiction of Love

     Every now and again I see something that relates the need for love to that of our most basic drives. In Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs theory, it'd be located on the bottom of the pyramid an it includes; sex, food, air, shelter, water. The basic needs.
     Now, looking back on my quest for love it was very time consuming. The idea ate away at me, and even though I was in college, I was finding being alone to prove quite formidable. At school, at work, when I was to be studying.. the distraction was there. Like a pesky itch in the part of your back you can't reach I was determined to get it. That's how you end up dedicating a year and a half of your life to it without realizing how much time has passed.
     I try to make my job hunt a similar situation. Like searching for love beat me down, so too does the search for a job. I try to motivate myself and strangely enough. lately, in order to do anything I have to get off.
     You could say that being alone during the day and the monotony of a job search switches on the part of the brain that craves the sweet release of those frisky little "feel good" hormones. Scientists have said that sex and orgasm activate the same part of the brain that is associated with drug addiction. It makes us feel good, and so like a crack whore, we keep chasing that high.
     I will say that in my adolescence I was a late bloomer. The self exploration of myself as well as the connection process with my body was at a much later age for me than most. That, however, is what I see masturbation to be. The connection with yourself. I love myself. I know that if I couldn't get off then I'd have some real concerns in regards to how I saw myself, not only physically, but psychologically as well. Being a late bloomer I have only shared in the love making act with my fiance. I was what you'd call old fashioned. I am very glad that I decided to wait, but I am sure that I may not have been so sexual had I not known who I was.
     All this talk about love and sex will bring me to another topic as well. The one about abstinence and the government in it's funding. Not too long ago a woman named Liza Long wrote a blog about her mentally ill son Michael. She instantly got news coverage on her out cry for better mental health treatment for the psychologically ill. Like her out cry, I will make a similar case, but not one so rash as to offend most people by assimilating my opinions with a tragic event. Documentaries cover this issue as well. Most schools won't teach safe sex in order to get Health education funding. There is a requirement that in order to get government assistance you much scare the absolute shit out of children. tell them it's wrong and then at the end have them sign a pledge vowing abstinence forever more. In an idealistic world this would work. But instead we have a mass of people who believe "Our kids aren't having sex." Then turn the other cheek and life goes on. Want to know something? They are having sex. Unfortunately now, it's in our parks where I took my little, now 4 year old sister, to. This teen couple was doing it under a pavilion on a bench. There's condemnation for pornography, sexting, teen nudity, and sex before marriage, but with the avocation of abstinence comes a higher percentage of teen pregnancies. Did you know that I didn't know what a condom looked like until I was about 18? I didn't know how to properly use a tampon, or where one even went until, again, I was almost 18? All the research on sex I did on my own accord. It's only because I was sensible enough to worry about my safety that I looked into it at all. With all my preparation I still ended up getting a UTI within a few days after, evidently spermicide lubricated condoms have this effect. I wasn't told you have to urinate after having sex either. But at least I had common sense to use protection.
     Imagine the countless number of children who are having sex without protection, but now we glorify this on shows like 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom.
     Television is the glorification of risks without repercussions, but in real life, there are consequences to our actions; good and bad.

All Great Empires Fall

     We connect to larger masses through media, but what would we be without the instant access to information? Has the power ever gone out and you lost the internet for a few hours? It evokes a small stroke of fear. Our whole lives are on the internet, powered by this mighty machine- but what would we do without it? We have out whole lives on the internet. From banking to digitally documenting our lives for future generations.
     Now there was actually some things quite similar in history I will highlight to make my point. There once was a Chinese emperor who unified China in early 200BC. After building the Great Wall at the expense of many lives Qin Shi Huang had to ensure the stability of his empire. Doing so resulted in the order of not only outlawing paper documents, but also the burning of books and burying of live scholars. Essentially this burning was to create a power over illiterates. They had to rely on him for information, but if you look into it now you'll realize he destroyed a lot of documented history during that time period.
     My theory about the internet disappearing, satirically addressed in the South Park episode "Over Logging", has a lot to do with the loss of information about our time as well as the riddling effects on those people who are afflicted by internet addiction.

How To Date Online: Writing Original Personal Messages

     So in the last post I had mentioned advice in writing an original message to someone who has passed all of your filtrate systems. Congratulations!
    Now, it seems, the pressure is on to write a meaningful message that won't only capture the eye but will also come off as original, witty, and most of all addresses their favorite thing to talk about; themselves.

For the sake of this, I will go onto POF and search for an actual person to show you exactly how this works.

So right off the bat I went on, searched as if I were a man looking for a woman between the ages of 18-24. Wasn't too specific in my search requirements just simple things like "wants to date but nothing serious"- so I could find someone to use as an example. I chose a girl my age, 19, she chose sunfish for her personality and writes a small about me paragraph. I will include it below to show you how this goes.

About Me

My name is BROOKE
I am a very kind, fun loving person, who would do anything for anybody.
I don't do drugs, never did and I don't hang out with people who do.
My family and friends mean the world to me.
I love to go out and have a good time, but staying home and cuddling is also nice.
I am such a funny girl, even when someone is in a bad mood, I can still make them laugh.
I can be an a$$hole at times.
Once someone disrespects me your a$$ is cut.
I don't play children games.
Drama free is the way to be haha.

*Don't message me disrespectful sh!t because I will not message you back.

*If you are old enough to be my dad, don't waste your time to message me.

First Date

Someone who will not expect the "happy" ending

     First thing to take notice of, she uses her real name. This is an option, for me I made finding out my name a riddle. I thought it to be a nice conversation piece. Some may ask how, and it's actually quite simple. Everyone's name has a meaning. For instance mine was "where the willows grow; sheltered"-- anyone with Google could have figured it out, but you'd be surprised how few people tried!
     I digress. Anyways, she mentions that she's kind, enjoys life and is loyal. Good traits, but who doesn't like to have a good time? She reinforces that she's a "good girl" by stating that she doesn't do drugs and doesn't hang around people who've made poor life decisions. She likes going out but doesn't mind one on one time either. So she isn't a stage five clinger, has some independence and won't rely on you all the time for emotional support. She claims to have a good sense of humor but can be mean sometimes. She openly admits to being human by saying she can be mean. So at least she's honest. She wants an honest relationship with respect and understanding. Sounds pretty reasonable.
   Now that we dissected her profile a little but, now's the time to make conversation.Notice how she talked about herself. She didn't say much about who she wants as a partner and this is critical information.

She claims to she's humorous, so start off with a header like, "Cheese, Milk's Attempt at Immortality"
funny, witty, thought provoking, could even elicit a smile, but it's an eye catcher. Beats the hell out of saying "hey"
Start off with an introduction.
     Hi Brooke (if she includes her name be sure to use it- it's respectful and show's you read her profile and aren't messaging her simply because of her looks)
State how you came across her profile- why you looked at it. For this, it's okay to make a brief mention of how her picture piqued your interests.
     I was looking around and saw your photo. What caught me at first was how the light reflected off your hair and the life in your eyes when you smile.
Now mention the little things you saw in her profile. Don't make this about you though.
In her profile she mentions being a professional dancer, ask her to elaborate.
     I saw that you are a dancer, what made you decide to pursue dancing?
She mentions having taken some college
     What courses have you taken in college thus far?
     Are you in a specific school program, certificate/ degree?
Don't sound condescending, and don't make it about sex. She was adamant about wanting an emotional bond more than a physical one first.
Being on pof, the person is looking for a partner they aren't finding in real life. Now's your time to ask her about that.
     Since you're on pof you must be looking for someone specific. Without censors (make sure she can let her guard down, again this isn't about you fitting into her ideal man- it's about learning about her) tell me what kind of partner you are looking for physically as well as psychologically.

Ask where she sees herself in the future (5-10 years from now)
Ask about what her hobbies are, her favorite tv shows, favorite color, etc.
These questions seem childish but in reality you're trying to learn about this person as much as possible and a lot of times their favorite things say a lot about who they are as a person as well as what they prefer.