With so many people using online dating websites like plenty of fish and ok cupid, you come across a double edged sword. On the one hand, you have options! On the other hand, you have to pick though each individual to find out which one you'd like to take out on a date or two. I had my fair share of wasting time online looking through the thousands of profiles on there. Search engines are helpful, but what happens when sifting through your already narrowed selection becomes too much? I've come up with a system to get through thousands of profiles in a matter of minutes and I'm going to share my approach with you. Because, let's be frank here, it's a numbers games. Every person you contact, you have a small chance that the person will either respond or not and responses vary in complexity but we'll touch on that later.
Alright, so you used the advanced search method and you still have about 53 pages of possible matches to sift through. On the left, are lines of tiny photos. On the right, catch phrases and small descriptions to catch your attention.
Step 1: scroll down the first page and only look at the photos. If they don't catch your eye or tempt you to look further into it, don't. It takes 5 seconds for your brain to decide if you're sexually attracted to another person physically.
Everyone has their own thing they find attractive to another person, so if you don't think you're anything special, someone out there will think otherwise. It's actually pretty awesome to think that even if someone isn't attractive to you, that someone else thinks that they are. It's almost like there are enough people to match up, and I think that's fantastic!
Step 2: right click on the photos that catch your eye and open them in another tab. Don't look at these profiles until you have gone through an entire page.
Step 3: Now that you made it to someone's page, here's what you have to do. Skim. Look for what you find most important. It could be anything from profession to having a job, to wanting kids or not, to eye color. Whatever values have more weight to you make a little mental note that these are good things.
Step 4: If they have passed these "filters," now comes one of two somewhat time consuming parts. You'll have to read the "about me" section.
Online many people feel that being anonymous gives them a security to open up and they are more likely to be themselves. Meaning; the about me sections are usually a good representation of the kind of person they are. If you are turned off by their about me section, simply move on.
Step 5: Being Original.
In your message to this person, make sure it's not something you are saying to every person. It is extremely evident when a message is mass produced. I will actually give some example writings in my next post. To give an overview however I will keep it short. Have an interesting heading, not the default. Write a good length of a message. And lastly, don't talk about yourself unless asked.
Step 6: Congrats. You have sent a message to a potential love connection. Now that you feel good about everything continue on to the other tabs that you have open and repeat steps 3-5