Tuesday, December 18, 2012

How To Date Online: Writing Original Personal Messages

     So in the last post I had mentioned advice in writing an original message to someone who has passed all of your filtrate systems. Congratulations!
    Now, it seems, the pressure is on to write a meaningful message that won't only capture the eye but will also come off as original, witty, and most of all addresses their favorite thing to talk about; themselves.

For the sake of this, I will go onto POF and search for an actual person to show you exactly how this works.

So right off the bat I went on, searched as if I were a man looking for a woman between the ages of 18-24. Wasn't too specific in my search requirements just simple things like "wants to date but nothing serious"- so I could find someone to use as an example. I chose a girl my age, 19, she chose sunfish for her personality and writes a small about me paragraph. I will include it below to show you how this goes.

About Me
My name is BROOKE
I am a very kind, fun loving person, who would do anything for anybody.
I don't do drugs, never did and I don't hang out with people who do.
My family and friends mean the world to me.
I love to go out and have a good time, but staying home and cuddling is also nice.
I am such a funny girl, even when someone is in a bad mood, I can still make them laugh.
I can be an a$$hole at times.
Once someone disrespects me your a$$ is cut.
I don't play children games.
Drama free is the way to be haha.

*Don't message me disrespectful sh!t because I will not message you back.

*If you are old enough to be my dad, don't waste your time to message me.
First Date
Someone who will not expect the "happy" ending
     First thing to take notice of, she uses her real name. This is an option, for me I made finding out my name a riddle. I thought it to be a nice conversation piece. Some may ask how, and it's actually quite simple. Everyone's name has a meaning. For instance mine was "where the willows grow; sheltered"-- anyone with Google could have figured it out, but you'd be surprised how few people tried!
     I digress. Anyways, she mentions that she's kind, enjoys life and is loyal. Good traits, but who doesn't like to have a good time? She reinforces that she's a "good girl" by stating that she doesn't do drugs and doesn't hang around people who've made poor life decisions. She likes going out but doesn't mind one on one time either. So she isn't a stage five clinger, has some independence and won't rely on you all the time for emotional support. She claims to have a good sense of humor but can be mean sometimes. She openly admits to being human by saying she can be mean. So at least she's honest. She wants an honest relationship with respect and understanding. Sounds pretty reasonable.
   Now that we dissected her profile a little but, now's the time to make conversation.Notice how she talked about herself. She didn't say much about who she wants as a partner and this is critical information.

She claims to she's humorous, so start off with a header like, "Cheese, Milk's Attempt at Immortality"
funny, witty, thought provoking, could even elicit a smile, but it's an eye catcher. Beats the hell out of saying "hey"
Start off with an introduction.
     Hi Brooke (if she includes her name be sure to use it- it's respectful and show's you read her profile and aren't messaging her simply because of her looks)
State how you came across her profile- why you looked at it. For this, it's okay to make a brief mention of how her picture piqued your interests.
     I was looking around and saw your photo. What caught me at first was how the light reflected off your hair and the life in your eyes when you smile.
Now mention the little things you saw in her profile. Don't make this about you though.
In her profile she mentions being a professional dancer, ask her to elaborate.
     I saw that you are a dancer, what made you decide to pursue dancing?
She mentions having taken some college
     What courses have you taken in college thus far?
     Are you in a specific school program, certificate/ degree?
Don't sound condescending, and don't make it about sex. She was adamant about wanting an emotional bond more than a physical one first.
Being on pof, the person is looking for a partner they aren't finding in real life. Now's your time to ask her about that.
     Since you're on pof you must be looking for someone specific. Without censors (make sure she can let her guard down, again this isn't about you fitting into her ideal man- it's about learning about her) tell me what kind of partner you are looking for physically as well as psychologically.

Ask where she sees herself in the future (5-10 years from now)
Ask about what her hobbies are, her favorite tv shows, favorite color, etc.
These questions seem childish but in reality you're trying to learn about this person as much as possible and a lot of times their favorite things say a lot about who they are as a person as well as what they prefer.

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